Open the door
At first, the crew members will do all what they can to prevent you to do that. This could be painful. And if you ever achieve it, there’s a lot of cold air out there, at lower pressure. You will be sucked out of the aircraft and deep-frozen before realizing you’ll be dying.

Leave your shoes in the toilet
As a general rule, getting off your shoes is not a good thing to do. Doing that in the toilet is even worse. If you do it anyway and someone asks you, make sure you answer does not contain the word “bomb”. Some guys spent days at FBI premises for saying that as a “joke”.

Get drunk
Getting drunk on board is not a bad idea by itself, but what you could do after that could be really really bad for you. If a flight attendant says “no” when you ask for a drink, you’d better to accept it as the good answer. Flights get frequently diverted because of unruly passengers, and you don’t want to be one of them.

Engage into inappropriate activities, particularly with flight attendants
Do you really think flights attendants don’t see when passengers play nasty games, be in in the toilets (anyway, good luck, except if you’re a very little person), or on their seats. Flight attendants themselves have other things to do, and remember, they travel in groups.

Look at “Airplane!” (a.k.a. Kentucky Fried Airplane)
I’m a big fan of Airplane! There are so many levels of jokes in this movie that it’s always a great pleasure to see it again and again. I was never lucky enough to look at it on board though. May be I should do that on my next flight… Hummm.

Countdown loudly
This could really scare your fellow passengers, which would in turn not be good for you. Since a couple of years, passengers no longer hesitate to “neutralize” one of them. Sometimes in quite violent ways. Putting your heads on your ears when you reach “zero” would certainly make things worse.

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